Post Concert Thoughts
Finally, the performance is over... from now onwards, i wun be so stressed anymore.... whahahha... and can have more time for my FYP
FIVE, is a good name for this concert. 5 years, is really a very long period of time... I really find it very long.
I started planning Consonance in year 2001 december... and met up with the working group people and started planning in january year 2002. From then onwards, my life has been revolving around Consonance. In a blink of an eye, 5 years have passed. In between these 5 years, I've went through so much changes, seen so many things, encountered so many problems, and saw many of my closest friends plunged into the worst period of their life (wait, they had a bad time not because they joined Consonance... hahahahaha).
I've never missed a single project in the whole span of Consonance existence. However, there wasn't a single time i really felt that i was in peak form to perform.
In 2002 Synergy, due to certain personal problems with a close friend, I didn't really generate the mood to perform.
In 2002 Cadenza, the whole planning and fatigue, and going thru army, and finding out many things had also spoilt my mood in performing. Cadenza 2002 was another rushed performance. It was super difficult to coordinate everything well, especially when we need to cater to NYJC choir's timetable. Plus the fact that I was undergoing some very bad period of my life then. It was damn tough for me. And that basically burnt me out entirely.
In 2003 MDIS, it was the only performance for the whole of year 2003. Simple performance. Consonance went thru its darkest period then. The thought of disbanding was strongest then.
In 2004 Amadeus collaboration. It was a decent performance. Amadeus is a good choir. Practising with them had really improves my musical appreciation, and my singing. But, at the end of the day, i wasn't close to Amadeus. I couldn't really generate a sense of closeness with them. I din feel much before stepping up for performance. No anxiety, no nothing. It was juz another performance to me afterall. Plus the fact, my voice went very haywired during rehearsal, and it affected the whole of my performance on that night itself. While that might be a decent choral concert, the concert itself wasn't that special to me.
In 2005 Listenin'. Collaborated with Mayflower Secondary School. That time, the performance date kanna exactly on my reservist period. It was a miracle that i finally managed to get day off and join the concert. But, my voice totally gone. Training, and inhaling too much of cigarette smoke totally spoilt my voice. I went for rehearsal with a super hoarse voice. I simply whack through the whole performance, but forcing myself not to cough on stage, swallow packets of lozenges, and drank buckets of water. But the performance wasn't a fantastic one at the end of the day. Mayflower's not a very good choir, and their performance was generally not very well received. Consonance's performance wasn't tip top too, and i sang with a shitty throat.
In 2006 FIVE. My voice was quite on form for the night, first time after 5 whole years. hahahahah.... I was stressed and worried. I was anxious, and can't wait to perform. I had the feeling and emotions of singing a concert, which i lost ever since JC2. Among the 5 years, this is the most special concert for me.
I have to say, that this concert has been really a rush. A lot of things are churned out in the last min. In terms of singing, itz not very prepared either. Everything, and everyone, was jittery. It might not even be the best performance out of the whole 5 years. The planning, the real work, and everything, went haywired here and there. Yet, this is still the most special concert to me. Why? There are a lot of reasons.
I think, while there are quite a few songs we eventually never do justice, there are a few songs which i think we really made the mark. In certain aspects, I have really witness the growth in Consonance. While this might not be the best performance Consonance is capable of, I feel a great sense of accomplishments. There are so many things that i feel so proud of Consonance. I really feel that, Consonance is capable of doing something really good, as long as everyone is willing to put in the effort. The biggest regret, or difficulty is, the euphoria will only be injected near, during, and after a concert. During practices, things can be quite dulled. But if everyone can juz whack, and be committed, I feel Consonance can do so much more. In fact, I seriously feel that Consonance is no where poorer than good choirs like Amadeus, Victoria Chorale or Vocal Consort. It juz lack the drive.
There are certain things which i refrained from telling most people in choir, but i guess after concert, its time to make certain things public.
Why this concert was highly meaningful to me, is because the tot of leaving after the concert came to me before. The tot of this might juz be my last performance for some time, made me clinched on more tightly to this concert. The thought of leaving was not an impulsive thought. Like i say, 5 years has been very long. For 5 whole years, I have been in the comm. My drive, and passion to serve has really dwindled. Part of the reason why Consonance is lacking drive, is really because I myself being a leader is lacking the drive. I have felt that, my presence in Consonance is doing more harm than good for both the choir and myself. I need to move on, so is Consonance. If i continue to be in Consonance, certain things will always fall back on me again. In this way, neither me nor Consonance can move on. That's what i really feel.
Consonance is already a part of my life. It involves and taken my most youthful time. Tons of efforts and emotions has been pumped into this group. It has come to be as important as family is to me. To have a thought of leaving, and making certain decisions, is kinda gruelling for me.
I will not quit Consonance altogether. It is still too difficult for me to do so. At most, I will only be stepping out of it for some moments.
But no worries, I have not come to a final decision yet, on whether to leave Consonance or not. But I do know, I really intend to step down already. And, there is still this one project, that there is no way I will miss. That is, to sing for Benedict's marriage. Ben has given up a lot for Consonance. To sing for his marriage, is the least I can do to return him the favour.
Post concert thoughts, happy and sad at the same time. But, after so many years, the sense of lost after concert is finally back to me again.
That's why, FIVE is a special concert to me.
FIVE, is a good name for this concert. 5 years, is really a very long period of time... I really find it very long.
I started planning Consonance in year 2001 december... and met up with the working group people and started planning in january year 2002. From then onwards, my life has been revolving around Consonance. In a blink of an eye, 5 years have passed. In between these 5 years, I've went through so much changes, seen so many things, encountered so many problems, and saw many of my closest friends plunged into the worst period of their life (wait, they had a bad time not because they joined Consonance... hahahahaha).
I've never missed a single project in the whole span of Consonance existence. However, there wasn't a single time i really felt that i was in peak form to perform.
In 2002 Synergy, due to certain personal problems with a close friend, I didn't really generate the mood to perform.
In 2002 Cadenza, the whole planning and fatigue, and going thru army, and finding out many things had also spoilt my mood in performing. Cadenza 2002 was another rushed performance. It was super difficult to coordinate everything well, especially when we need to cater to NYJC choir's timetable. Plus the fact that I was undergoing some very bad period of my life then. It was damn tough for me. And that basically burnt me out entirely.
In 2003 MDIS, it was the only performance for the whole of year 2003. Simple performance. Consonance went thru its darkest period then. The thought of disbanding was strongest then.
In 2004 Amadeus collaboration. It was a decent performance. Amadeus is a good choir. Practising with them had really improves my musical appreciation, and my singing. But, at the end of the day, i wasn't close to Amadeus. I couldn't really generate a sense of closeness with them. I din feel much before stepping up for performance. No anxiety, no nothing. It was juz another performance to me afterall. Plus the fact, my voice went very haywired during rehearsal, and it affected the whole of my performance on that night itself. While that might be a decent choral concert, the concert itself wasn't that special to me.
In 2005 Listenin'. Collaborated with Mayflower Secondary School. That time, the performance date kanna exactly on my reservist period. It was a miracle that i finally managed to get day off and join the concert. But, my voice totally gone. Training, and inhaling too much of cigarette smoke totally spoilt my voice. I went for rehearsal with a super hoarse voice. I simply whack through the whole performance, but forcing myself not to cough on stage, swallow packets of lozenges, and drank buckets of water. But the performance wasn't a fantastic one at the end of the day. Mayflower's not a very good choir, and their performance was generally not very well received. Consonance's performance wasn't tip top too, and i sang with a shitty throat.
In 2006 FIVE. My voice was quite on form for the night, first time after 5 whole years. hahahahah.... I was stressed and worried. I was anxious, and can't wait to perform. I had the feeling and emotions of singing a concert, which i lost ever since JC2. Among the 5 years, this is the most special concert for me.
I have to say, that this concert has been really a rush. A lot of things are churned out in the last min. In terms of singing, itz not very prepared either. Everything, and everyone, was jittery. It might not even be the best performance out of the whole 5 years. The planning, the real work, and everything, went haywired here and there. Yet, this is still the most special concert to me. Why? There are a lot of reasons.
I think, while there are quite a few songs we eventually never do justice, there are a few songs which i think we really made the mark. In certain aspects, I have really witness the growth in Consonance. While this might not be the best performance Consonance is capable of, I feel a great sense of accomplishments. There are so many things that i feel so proud of Consonance. I really feel that, Consonance is capable of doing something really good, as long as everyone is willing to put in the effort. The biggest regret, or difficulty is, the euphoria will only be injected near, during, and after a concert. During practices, things can be quite dulled. But if everyone can juz whack, and be committed, I feel Consonance can do so much more. In fact, I seriously feel that Consonance is no where poorer than good choirs like Amadeus, Victoria Chorale or Vocal Consort. It juz lack the drive.
There are certain things which i refrained from telling most people in choir, but i guess after concert, its time to make certain things public.
Why this concert was highly meaningful to me, is because the tot of leaving after the concert came to me before. The tot of this might juz be my last performance for some time, made me clinched on more tightly to this concert. The thought of leaving was not an impulsive thought. Like i say, 5 years has been very long. For 5 whole years, I have been in the comm. My drive, and passion to serve has really dwindled. Part of the reason why Consonance is lacking drive, is really because I myself being a leader is lacking the drive. I have felt that, my presence in Consonance is doing more harm than good for both the choir and myself. I need to move on, so is Consonance. If i continue to be in Consonance, certain things will always fall back on me again. In this way, neither me nor Consonance can move on. That's what i really feel.
Consonance is already a part of my life. It involves and taken my most youthful time. Tons of efforts and emotions has been pumped into this group. It has come to be as important as family is to me. To have a thought of leaving, and making certain decisions, is kinda gruelling for me.
I will not quit Consonance altogether. It is still too difficult for me to do so. At most, I will only be stepping out of it for some moments.
But no worries, I have not come to a final decision yet, on whether to leave Consonance or not. But I do know, I really intend to step down already. And, there is still this one project, that there is no way I will miss. That is, to sing for Benedict's marriage. Ben has given up a lot for Consonance. To sing for his marriage, is the least I can do to return him the favour.
Post concert thoughts, happy and sad at the same time. But, after so many years, the sense of lost after concert is finally back to me again.
That's why, FIVE is a special concert to me.
posted by Falcon Greylord at 2:05 PM
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