dear friend

i know you will love these pictures...

dear friend

i dun really know how i shld go about talking about it.

i tot recently i am drained enough that i tot it is impossible to get worse. but somehow, somewhere, things must happen in a way that strike you when you are at your weakest.

a close friend, a person whom i know will really listen and care if i ever look for him, has juz passed away.

seriously, there are many things i would like to write about him. but, i m at a loss of words now.

i was searching thru my piles of letters/greeting cards. among them there is one that he wrote for me in 2001. i also recalled a very long conversation with him at costa sands resort pasir ris, whereby we talked many things about choir and ourselves. reading it and thinking back, somehow i feel that i've not been that great a senior afterall in these few years. there is little i can do now actually. but human are always like this. we kept reminding each other that we should appreciate each other, what we have, protect them, and it will be too late once you really lose it. but how many of us have really done so? and the fault being? the pressure of life that disgusting alter priority of what is really important? or the ignorant feel that loss is something that will not materialise?

he is a person with far too many thoughts, likes to push himself over his real limits, a large amount of pessismism, and a person who is willing to take large amount of personal sacrifice for others and choir. he is a person who always tries to lighten up the mood, tells lame jokes, takes good care of his juniors, but keeps all the sad things to himself.

whatever it is, i've lost a friend forever. and consonance has lost a permanent supporter forever too.

the only 2 things that i am glad now are, his passing is probably not due to any of his pessimism, and that he will be deeply missed by many friends who have had the opportunity to know him well.

shift work

it can be rather tiring to work for the 12-hr shift fab attachment. reaching office at 8:30, i officially start work at 9am and work till 9:30pm at night. the day is super long, and being in fab means i have to be in smock. and being in smock means my nose will be completely covered by the mask, and makes breathing a little bit difficult and irritating. and in fab, i have to stand all the time, cos space is limited, and there isn't an extra chair around for the trainee.

so a good combinations of these factors, makes the shift work especially tiring. plus the fact that i slept at 2am in the morning yesterday makes the whole experience for the day even more exhausting. therefore, it really takes an huge amount of effort to do anything extra after work. am juz not sure if making the effort is worth it afterall, esp if it may be perceived of not being enough. and what is more sickening is, after reaching back home i still have to do a little bit of my report for the attachment. haiiz, tiring.

been loading myself with quite a few things recently, and fully occupying whatever remaining time i have after work. for one example, i have juz applied for a S$1.3k exam named CFA level 1. until now, i am still not fully sure if it will ever comes into picture for my job searching.... but let's juz hope it will not be a waste of my money eventually bah. 1.3k to me is a very large sum now. it simply reduces what i have scrimp and save for the past mth to almost nothing.

the best thing that i can look forward to for the rest of the week is.... ITZ MY REST DAY FROM WEDNESDAY TILL SATURDAY!!!!

but on sunday, we will be back to "there we go again. same old shit again" (sing in tune when marching in army)

Frank Lloyd Wright

read this on today's "Today". found it pretty interesting.

Stop A Moment To Relax

Have you had any spare time lately? I really doubt it. Our lives are jammed to the point where there's hardly room for anything extra or surplus.

And that reminds me of a wonderful story about Frank Lloyd Wright, the famous architect. When he was just nine years old, he went walking one winter day across a snow-covered field with his reserved, no-nonsense uncle.

When they reached the far end of the field, his uncle stopped him. He pointed out his own tracks in the snow - they were straight and true as an arrow's flight. And then he pointed out Frank's tracks meandering all across the field.

"Notice how your tracks wander aimlessly from the fence to the cattle to the woods and back again," his uncle said. "And see how my tracks aim directly to my goal. There's an important lesson in that."

Right to the day he died, Frank remembered the lesson, but not the way his uncle had intended. He used to say with a twinkle in his eye: "I determined right then not to miss most of the things in life, as my uncle had."

Yes, it's important to reach your goals, but along the way, even on the busiest of days, we must take time for spontaneity, relaxation and fun, and maybe even an unscheduled trip out to see the flowers and trees. You won't regret it.

found the thoughts of Frank's pretty interesting, and the article having some relevance to myself now. hah. if only things are simplier. if only i am a simplier perso who can put down and let go.