random thoughts
it has been a reasonably slack week. not that i have nothing to do, juz that i am not in too much a mood to complete them. i have 2 presentations to do next week, and a report due too.
for some reasons, i have lost a large part of motivation to do things. FYP is supposedly important, and thus i shld have spent some effort in my FYP presentation. but somehow it seems, i am not putting in much effort. i just want to get it over and done with.
lose steam, lose motivation, lose energy.
thatz it man. i am facing burnt out.
and cos of the free time, my mind tends to swing a little bit more unnecessarily. a huge lesson i have learnt a few years back during my stint as a leader in consonance is, itz always good to be in the unknown. knowing hits hard sometimes. thatz why people says, curiousity kills.
my mind has recently been more towards the negative, for some reasons. ever since army, restrospection is a part of life. just that after army, itz harder to set aside time to self-retrospect. in uni, normally the time i'm hit with the biggest shit, is the time i am least free. during holidays, everything are always good, so normally wun sudden go self-retrospect.
a free (but not so free) week like last week, suddenly i started to think about myself. retrospection goes 2 ways, and i went the not-so-pleasing way. i started to think about some of the stuffs, that i regretted that i have done. regret is a sickening thing. but the shit thing is, given the situation again, will i be able to do something differently? for some, i think i can. for some others, i started having self-doubts.
this brings along a series of thoughts. value-judgements mostly. value-judgements on myself.
then, some other things. things eventually lead to think. to come to terms with myself.
while this seems a little bleak, luckily i am a lazy person. so all things (think) have to come to an end. and i know, i have moved on and crossed myself on certain issues (wanted to say 过了自己这一关 in english. made a pretty bad attempt it seems, hah!), not all.
but heck, FYP presentation on monday. Present the same thing to PSA on tuesday. And then, i juz wait to graduate, hopefully safely. then, i shall fuck off this place that i badly wanted to join when i was in army.
come to think of it... what a joke.
for some reasons, i have lost a large part of motivation to do things. FYP is supposedly important, and thus i shld have spent some effort in my FYP presentation. but somehow it seems, i am not putting in much effort. i just want to get it over and done with.
lose steam, lose motivation, lose energy.
thatz it man. i am facing burnt out.
and cos of the free time, my mind tends to swing a little bit more unnecessarily. a huge lesson i have learnt a few years back during my stint as a leader in consonance is, itz always good to be in the unknown. knowing hits hard sometimes. thatz why people says, curiousity kills.
my mind has recently been more towards the negative, for some reasons. ever since army, restrospection is a part of life. just that after army, itz harder to set aside time to self-retrospect. in uni, normally the time i'm hit with the biggest shit, is the time i am least free. during holidays, everything are always good, so normally wun sudden go self-retrospect.
a free (but not so free) week like last week, suddenly i started to think about myself. retrospection goes 2 ways, and i went the not-so-pleasing way. i started to think about some of the stuffs, that i regretted that i have done. regret is a sickening thing. but the shit thing is, given the situation again, will i be able to do something differently? for some, i think i can. for some others, i started having self-doubts.
this brings along a series of thoughts. value-judgements mostly. value-judgements on myself.
then, some other things. things eventually lead to think. to come to terms with myself.
while this seems a little bleak, luckily i am a lazy person. so all things (think) have to come to an end. and i know, i have moved on and crossed myself on certain issues (wanted to say 过了自己这一关 in english. made a pretty bad attempt it seems, hah!), not all.
but heck, FYP presentation on monday. Present the same thing to PSA on tuesday. And then, i juz wait to graduate, hopefully safely. then, i shall fuck off this place that i badly wanted to join when i was in army.
come to think of it... what a joke.
posted by Falcon Greylord at 12:50 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home