i tot i would have been able to take it better

something happened at home. my brother told me certain things juz now in the afternoon, and for a while, i went totally blanked out. i was quite lost, dunnoe what should i do.

there are certain things that i've been preparing myself for quite some time. soon after i stepped into army, i started to think about a lot of things. there are certain things that i have always been telling myself to be mentally prepared for. after so many years, i've tot that i shld have been able to take certain things or news quite well, since i've always been mentally preparing myself for it one day. but obviously, today proved me wrong. i wasn't really ready for anything.

my reaction did not come immediately after hearing what my brother told me. it was when my brother left the room, then i reacted a little bit more. i m not really afraid to say this, but i almost cried. hahaha... tears was rolling in my eyes, but i managed to keep it back. but i had to go thru a few cycles of almost crying and cool down, and almost crying and cool down. the saddest thing is recalling a short scene that happened juz in the morning. i tot it was nothing, but never did i realise that it was an outcome of some mishaps. but obviously, i have to keep my calm at home... at least not to show anything.

but nothing much to worry about, at least as of now. i checked it out online and it was not really a big deal.

but this little event really shows that i am not ready yet.

Consonance 5th Year Anniversary Concert, Five

Performance Date & Time: 16 September 2006, 7:30 PM
Venue: Victoria Concert Hall
Ticket Price: S$12, Free Seating
Ticket Enquiries: Email us at consonance2002@gmail.com

This is a 5^th anniversary concert for Consonance to celebrate her 5 years of continuous music-making. It also highlights her first solo performance apart from numerous collaborations with other choirs & performances for organizations. Five commemorates pieces that have been reflective of past achievements as well as showcase pieces that hint at future advancements. This concert plays around with the number 5, with pieces sang in 5 different languages, such as English, Latin, Hungarian, French, and African, as well as 5 different genres of music. Consonance hopes to bring the joy of music-making to the people around her and endeavors constantly to accomplish higher standards with each concert.

Title	Composer/Arranger
1) Fair Phyllis I Saw	John Farmer
2) Let the River Run	Carly Simon
3) Turot Eszik A Cigany	Kodaly Zoltan
4) I Know Where I’m Going	Geoffry Russell-Smith
5) Dravidian Dithryamb	Victor Paranjoti
6) Xiao He Tang Shui	Gooi Tah Choe
7) Shady Grove	Chen Yi
8) Duerme Negrito	Emile Sole
9) Kasar Mie La Gaji	Alberto Grau
10) Dieu! Qu’il La Fait Bon Regarder	Claude Debussy
11) Quant J’ai Ouy Le Tabourin	Claude Debussy
12) Dry Bones	Phyllis Tate
13) It Had To Be You	Steve Zegree
14) Seasons of Love	Roger Emerson
15) Locus Iste	Anton Bruckner
16) Non Nobis Domine	Rosephanye Powell
17) The Lord Bless You and Keep You	John Rutter

Call me if you are interested in seeing me perform!!

school starts and...

i will be getting busy soon.

am taking Japanese 1 this sem. that module is 7 hrs per week... shack... but i think it should be an interesting module. had wanted to take language module in nus for a long long time. cos i really feel that it is a waste not to take language module in nus since it is free, and good.

my top choice would be to take french... but bidding is too fierce for that module liaoz. there is no way i will be able to get that... engine students always lost out in such cases. cos, we get only a pathetic 250 general account points... and french's bidding normally and easily goes up to 1000+...

and i got this Jap 1 for 1 point only... steady boh? hahaha... keoy tio sai at round 3A.

this sem's timetable is quite slack since i am only taking 2 module classes, but that doesn't necessarily makes my sem a easy sem.

japanese seems to need quite a portion of commitment. i have 13 Vocabulary quizzes, 7 Lecture quizzes, 9 Listening & Dictation quizzes, 1 midterm exam and 1 final exam. on and above, there are homework assignments. 2 workbooks, 2 textbooks, 1 course companions and 1 sets of lecture notes. 7 hours per week...

my lvl 5000 module, decision analysis should be slack though. some kum lan master students and part time students are taking. those working people.... dun think they can adapt back to studying anyway. plus, they wun have much time to put in the effort. but then again, i dun have much time to put in the effort anyway.

my FYP is going to start soon. have arranged to meet my prof on this thursday morning. then i will meet up with the PSA people and kick start my FYP liaoz. i think this FYP is going to be a fucking challenging one man. probably going to take up fucking lot of my time.... shack

my design project oso set to analyse NUH specialist out-patient clinic. i think this is not going to be too easy either... fuck siah. 2 shack projects at the same time.

and i also need to study my o lvl physics. haven't start much on it. this week itself haven't start. tml wun be able to start either, since i need to go for choir sectional tml nite. haiiz.... the more i think about the sectional, the more i am. kanna section leader, when i fucking have no idea how to conduct sectional. wa lan... sianz...

busy busy busy.... busy ah!!

what am i feeling now?

i am feeling

1) FAT
2) FAT
3) STILL FAT
4) LAZY
5) LAZY
6) STILL LAZY

blardee hell... i've not touched on my physics o lvl stuffs for the whole of this week yet. i very much would like to revise them... but everytime i see that book there, i cannot bring myself to it. walan eh... sibei sianz and lazy man.

and i've not ran for 2+ weeks... going to 3 weeks. no wonder i am getting fatter and fatter. the best way to tone down my body again would be to re-enter army. but fuck! anyone with a mind would never do that. let alone, my mind is worth CAP of 4.87. hahahahaha~~~

school starting soon.... i shall go back to loner, mugger life for the first few weeks i guessed. cos i want to force myself to read my o lvl stuffs. otherwise, how am i supposed to help the students!?!?!? since i cannot do it at home, i shall do it in school.

i am having shitty feeling about the upcoming concert

one and half month's more before the concert day arrives.

how prepared are we? fuck... we've not finish learning all our repertoire yet.

lousy attendance, lotsa things not done, lack of direction... lotsa deadlines to be met. it seems like we are doing things simply for the sake of completing them, thatz all. plus the meaningless things that propped out between people.

will we pull it thru again? juz like what we've been doing all the time? but, do we just want to pull it thru? for so many years, we've juz been pulling things thru.

again, times of uncertainty. i guess i have to make some decisions after the event.