tired

feeling very tired... am bothered with many issues and i feel shit in not knowing what i shld do next...

keep wondering what i've done is correct, or not. yet, i've never manage to find an answer to it. things swirl around, and mind keep spinning. i've always told myself and others, itz always not a good thing to "think too much". yet, this time round, i have problems curbing myself.

i have problems handling the present, and i have problems forgetting the past. little things that trigger certain past events makes me especially unhappy these days. i try my best to come to terms with them, and accept, forgive, and forget. yet, i have not been very successful with all of them.

it feels damn shit to force yourself to do something u really dun want to. and itz made worse simply because the initial mindset was already warped. i dun have a lot of principles in life. but i feel strongly in those that i hold. yet, i am weak enough to succumb to external factors due to mistakes that i've made.

i am confused and dun really know how to articulate myself well. feeling a little bit alone and tired in this struggle, and uncertain about whatz right and wrong, whatz going to happen next and whatz i shld do next...

perhaps, i am not ready yet