megaupload is getting shitty. can't seems to be able to download from there anymore. so, my "Full House" episodes only managed to reach episode 6. sibei sianz....
and now, i have little time for myself. i have to work from monday to friday, and have choir on sat, then tuition on sun. sunday still got a bit of slack, but thatz about it. kaoz.
for monday to friday, i wakes up at 0600 and get myself ready to go to work. go macpherson to take the company bus and reach philips DAP at 0730-0735, and have breakfast with friends. then work. off at 1730, but reach home only at 1845-1850. the rest of the time are then my free time. minus away the eat dinner part and crap, my offical slack time is from 1930 to 2330. a pathetic 4 hours each day.
for sat, i normally wake up later. maybe 1000, or later. then, i leave my house and go for choir at 1400. sing sing sing until 1800. if i try to organise dinner outing, then i will probably reach home quite late. but the time i reach home varies.
for sun, i have to wake up at 0830, and leave house at around 0900. tuition at sixth avenue starts at 1000, and ends at 1300-1330. reach home at around 1400-1430, then lunch. so i finally get some slack from around 1500 onwards. by that time, i juz feel like resting and do nothing.
out of the total slack time, sometimes i have to pull out some to do some admin stuffs. now, i've started to create midis for my concert repertoire, and revise my pathetic o lvl maths to be a proper tutor, i'm left with less time.
what a vacation. no wonder i find my life is coming to a standstill.
fuck.
but one consolation is money is coming in. especially this month, i probably get $1.5k. not fantastic, but still quite neat.
time is money. there is an exchange rate attached to it.
wanted to go run and/or recap a bit on my 'o' level maths (yes, o lvl. cos i realised i am really quite rusty while i am giving tuition. itz really quite sickening having to try derive everything from scratch. time-consuming and it doesn't really reflect too well to the students either).
and you've guessed it. i did none. i din even feel like reading thru the FYP list.
then i tried to download new mp3s from feelroom.net, but somehow the connection is quite cranky. blardee hell.
been getting quite comtemplative these few days. my life has sort of coming down to a standstill. juz read many blogs and came across some stuffs. one of my friends is trying to mentally prepare herself for the final year. somehow, she thinks that the final year is going to be tough, maybe cos of the FYP and the competition on the road to the first class honours. another friend of mine is talking about some people in the uni, probably NUS, are thinking they are "high class" people. as for my personal opinion, i disagree with the former and agree with the latter.
for the former, somehow, i dun really think the next year will be going to be very tough. yah, i've got 2 shitty year long project, SDP (system design project) and FYP. and the FYP is going to be a crucial factor in my first class honours "dream". but there are very few modules left we need to clear bah. i myself have only 22MCs left for the whole year, thatz all. and i foresee a very slack timetable next sem, with very simple modules (although 1 will be lvl 4000, the other 5000). with my experience, high level modules are most often pretty crappy.
as for the latter, i've asked this same person during reservist that "do you think is there any use in studying so much? when in fact, being a grad is probably earning less than the rest who din study much?" the reason why i asked this was because i am still comtemplating whether to take up a master degree offered by SMA-NUS. part of me wants to go because i get to spend half a year in MIT (since i missed SEP, but this time i can afford it myself cos i get paid for studying). part of me dun want to take it cos i noe i would like to get practical experience in the corporate world.
studying is really quite stupid. in fact, the experience of going thru a uni curriculum is pretty meaningless. it is nothing, but an attempt in securing a certificate. but with that, we will be left half fucked in the world. at least, at the start. either half-fucked, or the stick is entirely in. hardly the case you are the fucker. the whole span in nus only results in meaningless experience of acquiring useless knowledge with no practicality. on top of that, you lose the experience of real work actions, and other shit of life. my academic results might have been exceptional, but i dun really know what i can do out there. luckily, i think and believe i am not an entire nerdy cock, so i probably can survive after some adjustments. but i seriously dun see how someone who can only solve a fucking complicated fourier transform equation or crap, can survive. probably ostracised.
so why did i want the first class honours in the beginning? put it plainly, i dun actually really want it that strongly. i mean, i admit i worked very hard for it in my first few years, much to the surprise of my many friends in jc. there are many factors why i participated in this stupid rat race.
one of them is army. army put quite a strain on my life then. in fact, i still consider part of my army life as my darkest period. there was one period i really feel quite shitty, and i tot i felt into some sort of a depression, a mild one probably. luckily, a long block leave in that dec, plus the support given by a certain friend, helped pull me out. there are many reasons why i am so attached to consonance and my jc choir, and this is one of them. i digressed, but during army time, there are many downs (with a few ups). thatz why i was really looking forward to ord and go back study. with that desire to study, i wanted to do properly academically.
second, i did quite marvellous in my A lvls, considering the amount of effort spent. doing it once, makes one wants to do it twice. then trice. vicious cycle.
third, my brother did it before. he got a first class in comp science. not wanting to lose him, and to sometimes keep his mouth shut, i wanted to better him and myself. in the end, i think i bettered him academically (and yah, only academically. i think he is still smarter than me, in some aspects). it was quite a pride thing. haha... but the pride thing doesn't stop at wanting to better my brother.
fourth, i wanted to know what i am worth. i've never put much effort in studying before nus. so i wanted to know, whether if i am really able to achieve a first class, if i put in my effort. i knew it wasn't going to be easy. i oso wanted to show, and confirm, i am quite clever.
and so, i've got a CAP of 4.87, and only one B+ so far. but what have i achieved? nothing, if you asked me. at the end of the day, i've not convinced myself as being exceptional. okay, there are people "wowing" when they hear my results. many pple are calling me "shen" in school instead of my name (not that they meant it entirely, but i dun think they dun mean it entirely either). but am i really good? no. i think i am above average only. many pple asked me whether i will go for Ph.D, and when i say no cos i cannot make it, they simply shake it off. dunnoe why. so far, only one person, over rounds of beer, understands and agrees with me. to quote, he said "i can understand what you are telling me now. but if you say that to any of the other ISE people, they wun believe you at all one." hahaha... i think he hits the nail on the head, man.
in nus, i've seen some really decent and smart people. CAP lower, but calibre higher. my definition of calibre covers many aspects. pure intellect, observation skills, speaking skills, PR techniques etc etc. comparatively, i think i am okay, not too poor. neither am i very good. like i said, slightly above average. i think i am worth a first class honours, but i am not worth a CAP of 4.87, whatever that might mean. i dun like rat race, and i dun like to compete until like that. i am a competitive person, but i've never in my life drove myself this much. last time in jc, i oso dun think i lose to xuhong or zhengqian, but i din bother to work hard to better them. cos deep inside me, i am a blardee slacker.
i think i've tested and proved myself enuff already. whether in the end i get the first class is no longer important. a slack last sem did good to me. i've gotten out of the rat race (i think).
actually, i dunnoe why i wrote so much crap above. the thoughts are very incoherent too. jump here and there one. but i am juz typing away. like i said, i feel my life is on a standstill right now, so i juz felt like writing some stuffs. some recent events re-sparked some thoughts in me.
i need new goals in life. new drive. but lazy to find them.
comtemplative moments. many thoughts. incoherent ones. hong gan.
it was a short 1 week stay back in the ATC. overall, is okay. glad to meet some siao gia back in the fucking shit place. the overall schedule was quite relaxing, and as always, doing some meaningless tasks such as Weapon Revision. what the fuck... how many fucking times had i striped the damn m203 already in my life? i can even strip it with my eyes close (literally, i think). and everytime i go back to ICT, i have to spend 1 day juz to sit there and "revise". quite cool.
am glad with an IPPT silver. relaxing run for 2.4km, completing in a timing of 10:56mins. not good, but okay lah given the condition and amounts of fats i have now.and finally, i get some sort of "benefits" for doing decent in IPPT - an early bookout. which i tot, probably isn't that early afterall. but still, itz good to leave the damn place earlier, even if it is juz by mins. (but i think i was out 1-2 hours earlier bah)
the 1 week stay was a good get-together. had much fun talking cock with people who actually possess tons of times more cocks than me. some late nights spent listening to their stories was well damn entertaining lah.
and i guess the biggest highlight of the ICT was the combat shooting. my section actually got marksman!! woohoo!!! and i tot i was a bobo shooter. okay lah, was never really a bobo, but nothing near being a marksman. last time got marksman once during service time, but it was achieved because i got more rounds than intended. but this time, no cheating. am glad i shot pretty decently for both day and night shoot. 37/40.
however, while getting marksman calls for a celebration (cos got $200 award), some shits really do spoilt them. one is robin. he is really a muthafucker bastard. his fucking mouth cannot stop yelling, and that cheebye tongue keeps wagging. as always, trys to shoot platoon 7 for tasks not for them, cos his cock cannot stand in front of his own platoon. of cos, the lack of sleep and stupid planning annoys me. ask us to wake up at 0445, but we spent a big part of our time idling away cos day shoot ends fast. it actually ends around 1400 or latest 1500. so we simply sit there idling till 1900. that 4 hours could have been used to allow us to wake up at 0630?
then it was the cocked up in their systems resulting my section's first shoot void. so gotta go reshoot. i could have gone back to the camp with the first half of the details at 1130. in the end, i reached camp at near 0200 in the morning. again, cos of cheebye robin's cock cannot stand again. itz a long story, but basically he probably got the amount of empty catridges needed wrong. then he still got the cheek to keep shouting. buay tahan.
then when i get back camp, there was some stunning sms that i recieved. haiiz... headache + lack of sleep. then when i finally book out, rushed down for consonance practice. saw the bad turnout => another hit.
as i have a basic tracking system to track who visits my blogs, i have quite a startling (actually, not hat startling) discovery.
i am quite amazed at what pple tries to find from google, and technorati.
1. "wenlee" - wenlee is a friend of mine. she is my junior in ISE, and i actually cannot really recalled how i first get to know her liaoz. only can remember james and dan asked her out for supper together before and after exams before. anyway, either herself, or someone who likes her, or someone finding another person named wenlee too, was searching for sites containing her name. searched thru technorati, and my blog actually turns out to be the first link! siao one... when i simply blogs about her complaining to me about her VIP, thatz all. lidat become top link for "wenlee".... hahahahahaha. guess the person must be really disappointed!
2. "tan sze ying felicity" - wenlee is my junior, and this is my senior. probably another case of the same reasons stated above. but this time, it was google. link ranked number 12.
3. "cs1101c blogspot" - i wonder what the searcher wanna gets out of this. searched in google, and my link ranked 31th this time round. but i guess the person probably a bit sianz when he saw my grade for the module? okay lah... not that good. only an A, but that module quite shitty for a first-timer in programming.
4. "philips" - this one is actually a much more normal search, but only if it was on the right search engine. i find it weird that pple search "philips" on blogsearch. but, that tells me not to write anything bad about philips here either. hahaha... so..... hey! philips is a great company to work with!!! i am so damn glad to be an intern under it!!!!
thatz the few more significant ones for this time round. previously oso a lot of farnie searches, but i din bother to put them down in words for a blog post.
anyway, i've also discovered a lot of views are from this particular link http://www.geocities.com/jovenatheart/***********. itz my ah bu's long ago website or smthing bah.... wonder if she still updates i though...
when i first logged in, i wanted to complain i will be getting busier and busier. cos of all the consonance stuffs, my vip and going-to-start tuition on sunday. but, in the end, i end up writing rubbish. hahaha~~~
but i guess i need money. so, even precious weekend i oso have to go teach now.
Love me, dear,and love my football too By Siva Choy June 05, 2006
WORLD Cup soccer puts even the strongest marriages to the ultimate test and those who survive it usually live happily ever after.
This is the season where, once every four years, the nicest and most docile husbands turn up late for work or fall asleep at the desk, squander their wages on hopeless bets and then squander some more to recover their losses, chain-smoke, guzzle beer, behave disgracefully in pubs and bore Americans to death, while their wives mentally wear black veils and become soccer widows.
RIGHT GIFT, WRONG REASONS
Take my soccer-kaki David. His wife had begged him to give her a new TV for the last three years. All he had given her were excuses.
Then last week he suddenly bought this huge plasma screen TV as a birthday gift for her. She nearly collapsed in surprise, because the only birthday gifts she had received from him the last seven years had been a non-stick frying pan, a steam iron, an electronic alarm clock, a cordless phone, a sandwich maker, a vacuum cleaner and a bigger non-stick pan.
(By coincidence, all these valuable gifts had helped her to make his breakfast more quickly, iron his clothes more neatly, wake him up for work more reliably, allowed her to talk to Mum on the cordless telephone in the bedroom so she wouldn't interrupt his TV, make his sambal sardine sandwiches during the FA cup, and clean up the crumbs on the carpet before cockroaches got to them.)
Then a poke-fire neighbour reminded her that the World Cup was about to begin. The same poke-fire neighbour reminded her that the last time David had bought a new TV was about eight years ago... just before the last World Cup.
'He told me he bought it so that I could enjoy Desperate Housewives,' the equally desperate wife said.
'Are you telling me that some men actually spend big money buying new TVs just to watch World Cup matches?'
'Please lah, Maria, have you forgotten?' the cynical Mrs Pokefire had said.
'When did Singapore television introduce colour TV? In time for the World Cup, right?
'Who do you think made that decision? Women? No dear - men!'
'No dear - boys!' David's wife said angrily.
'If he thinks he can call his friends over and expect me to make coffee and sandwiches, he can think again!'
David did think again.
'Okay. I'll just go over to Eng's,' he said.'His wife just provides curry puffs from the hawker centre and they are not as delicious as your sambal sandwiches and are probably bad for my heart. She also joins us to watch, not like you, though she is not clever like you and she makes stupid comments like which player is handsome and who is not, but what to do...'
PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN, BUT...
David's wife's heart melted and she said she preferred that he watched the Cup at home, and did his friends really like her sambal sandwiches and yes, Eng wife's was a bit seow, and thanks for the TV because it is so clear I can even see the housewives' pimples, and can I get you coffee or Black Label?
So guess where I'll be when the first ball rolls?
Except I don't feel comfortable about imposing myself on David's poor wife. Maybe I will talk to the other guys and we can all pool together and get her a token of appreciation or something like that.
Not all soccer fanatics are hooligans - deep down, my bunch are quite sensitive and New Age (They wouldn't be my friends if they weren't).
We shouldn't offer flowers or chocolate (she's somebody else's wife for heaven's sake!). Certainly not a Brazilian soccer jersey or a tea-towel with Ronaldinho's stone-age face on it.
Maybe we'll get some nice beer mugs, a cocktail mixer or one of those crystal dishes for serving peanuts and snacks during the game...
am blogging while i m in office right now. 've finished most of my stuffs right now, nothing much more to do except to print out the corporate gift catalog for my supervisor to see. and i realised one weird thing in my office.... there seems to be a lot of static around!!! i've been shocked numerous times... at least around 5 times... by static electricity!!! dunnoe if it is because the environment is pretty cold. my fingers always freeze while in office. getting more and more sianz with my work here right now. i've been scanning a lot of things... and thatz pretty all i've been doing for this 1-2 weeks. in my short stay in the department, i think i've scanned around 3k pages of stuffs, conservatively. perhaps the only slightly more interesting thing i've done.... and it is only in the slightest bit more, was to set up some macros in excel to help my colleague to automate some routine operations. those tedious and repetitive operations. at first, my colleague asked if i can do up some programming for her to save her all the hassle. it wasn't really a task for me, but she was juz hoping that i might know some programming then maybe can help her whip up some simple coding. but sadly, i dunnoe how to write visual basic, which i think is the language for excel. even if it is not visual basic, it probably is visual c++ or c#. none of which i've touched. but i guess i found an easier alternative for her. i taught her how to set up some macros, which can achieve the same target, and without me going thru the hassle of picking up a new programming language which will take some times. furthermore, she can then create macros herself next time for other stuffs after my VIP ends. give her code, she also cannot reuse them. so that the only “interesting” thing that I’ve done for this week. the duration lasted only for around 1hr. the only thing that I’ve needed to use some brain and explore some useful excel functions to go along with the macros…
bored bored bored bored bored!!!!
anyway, think I should go now… wait later I kanna discovered that I am blogging during office hours. I’ve set up a decent image for myself in office so far. a quiet, hardworking, obedient and fast worker. hahahahah…. pretty useful. got one auntie very nice to me, always make coffee for me. but in return, I’ve also cleared a lot of routine stuffs for her. and I really mean a lot.
anyway, I think this decent image wun last. i’ve started playing punk liaoz. i go for extended lunch break of 1 hr, when I should only be missing for 30 mins. i walk off from canteen to office in the morning at 0815, when i am supposed to be seated at 0800. but so far, i’ve not left office earlier yet. maybe can start to do so liaoz….
Today, I've shown signs of getting sianz from VIP liaoz.
I overslept.
when i woke up in the morning... i got stunned. when i opened my eyes, i saw my surrounding..... bright!!! after that, i immediately become WIDE awake. i took out my handphone, and saw the time.
6.55am.
okay... then the first thought in my mind, no way i can get the company bus in any areas liaoz. so, my 'gan-jiong-ness' at first quickly subsided. i 've already accepted my fate of taking cab to work today. with that realization, i decided to heck care liaoz, and slowly brush up. for fuck rush when i am going to take cab?
and the taxi fare cost me $16.30. i drew money yesterday. $90, and i tot that $90 could probably last me quite some time. cos i've not been going out, and i only need to settle my lunch and dinner thatz all. now, it probably wun last me as long as i tot it would be.
sibei sianz one. such tragedy hits me when i am at one of my poorest stages. why why why why why?
okay, i am tired liaoz. dun want to write anymore. i've not been sleeping early when i need to wake up early. yesterday mop floor for 1+hr, today went to ran. hopefully i wun overslept again tml. otherwise, i am pretty sure, that $90 can barely survive through this week.
ever since i started my VIP, i've been looking forward to friday every weekday for every week. hahah... cos i dun need to wake up at 0550 the next morning. and i have more time for myself, whether or not i use them wisely. i love to stone anyway... looking blank and reflecting. hahaha
anyway, had a great lunch with the nus peepz over at philips today. sibei talk cock. made a fool of ourselves while joking over a woman over in the QA department. actually, i dun really know the lady. my only remote encounter with her is my 2 hrs stay in the QA lab to scan 30+ pages of stuffs. we din even exchange a single conversation. but my overall impression of her is, she is sibei kao bei. and for some reasons, i pitied the 2 IA students under her. ke lian.... but my judgement seemingly is accurate, as both xiaoling and jasmine confirmed my intuition. she is indeed not a very warm person. she can even be stingy enuff to not let outsiders to use a piece of tissue.
"you never bring your own tissue meh?"
with that experience, jasmine decided she will never enter QA lab without having a packet of tissues with her.
today oso got stunned by a girl that took the same company bus as me. hahaha!! come to think of it, oso quite weird. she is from smu, and i knew it before she told me. cos there is another girl, sinye, in my department from smu. sinye told me there is another smu intern that takes the same company bus. so there was one time i saw the two of them having lunch together, and so i confirmed. and while i was still attached to the plastic factory (a week of pure slackness), this girl always enter the office. to fetch water, cos the pantry is in my office. with so many coincidences, i took quite a bit of notice of her, plus the fact that she looks decent too.
so, how did she stun me? while i've taken some notices of her, she dunnoe me and probably wun notice me much except probably for the fact that we takes the same company bus in and out of philips. but this morning, after alighting the bus, she suddenly came up to me, out of the blue and asked,
"Are you also an intern student?"
tio snooked. okay... maybe its really nothing, but i dun often get questions from strangers after alighting a bus. somemore from a decent looking girl. i will only get these kinda stuffs when the question is "Would you like to donate?"
anyway, itz good to know more people. lidat when i am going home, i wun be so bored too. at least got people to chat. the company bus ride home from jalan ahmad ibrahim isn't that short a duration. oso, getting to know more chio bu definitely helps to ease the torture of waking up so early in the morning to just do mundane office work. whahahahaha.....
but on a more serious note, my life circle is really quite small. good to widen the circle a little bit more.
nOthiNg rEallY inTerEstinG aBt me....
a mUgger in nUS, a loNer in liFe, a cHoiristEr in mY alUmnI cHoiR...
oH, smThing to bE prOuD of mYselF, cuRRent CAP 4.9...wiLL conTinUe to uPdatE thIs in tHe fUtUre.
bTw, i dId thIs blOg juZ foR fUn oNly...WannA kNoW hOw thIs workS...
oH...aNd aNothEr btW, i'vE reAllY baD gRamMer...so iF u R noT haPpY wiTh it, pLs sTop reAdinG n clOsE yoUr wiNdoW...dUn agoNisE uRselF...
